ahhh... it's been long time to go.. it's hard for me.. actually, I HATE BEING A PRESIDENT!! i hate it so much!! as all know, only selected people will chosen to be a president of Student Representative Council as known as Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar.. how can i wonder this such thing will give me some opportunities to fight what should i do but it worst! they take my free time!! they stole my words freedom, and the worst thing they create gap between me and friends and totally gap with SHE!! i hate it so much!!
what i heard, "congrats man! u be a PRESIDENT!!" , "man! u are lucky one in millions!!" huh! how dare u cheat me guys! before i be a president, every day i had free time to spend it on youtube and facebook, but nowadays, its GONE!! before this, i had my time to hang out with SHE but now its LIMITED!! before this i have my time to walk out from the house and get my leg on the road but now my evening use to THINK about how can i give change on this COLLEGES??!!!
i'm wondering what happen to me if i'm not involved in this organization ?? how my life right now?? i though being a president are the best way to make my friend's dream and request become true, but what happen to me right now is not what i though. i've been left by my friends, they HATE me!! they talk anything about my BAD!! do you think i LOVE it?? absolutely NO!!!! i miss my true life back. i miss it so much.. i miss my time laugh with my friends.. i miss my time spend be with SHE.. i miss it.
however, this kind of position make me quiet popular in college . but, i DON'T LIKE it!! this position make students in this college seeking for me . and i HATE it!! this matter me me feels so lonely. no one can understand me.. i'm talking, they looking at me, i'm walking with who, they spoke each other who is SHE for me??? i'm doing something, they dispute the thing what have i done.. so ANNOYING!!!
please stop doing this to me.. i'm begging u guys.. u know what, because this position i fight with my housemate!! because this position i have no time to be with she!! and because this thing i run everyday reaching the time that i lose. they always asking me for something but how can i give u in case u all did not give me win-win situation?? everybody put their hopes on me.. EVERYBODY!! do u thing i'm gonna make it true?? i'm not supernatural person that can do anything u ask.. i'm just an ordinary human.. nothing special on me..
stop treating me like i'm the king of country, i did't like it.. stop making fools with me with your words " hye abang president.." and "hang tu president, sapa la kami ni nak dibandingkan dengan hang president MPP" .. hey guys, u know what, if i can change destiny , i will!! i'm not put my face on lecturers and begging them to select me be a president!! i hate u fools me with calling me "wahh..president MPP lah katekan..." !! i HATE it!! don't u get it?? sorry guys, i just wanna be a normal student. study with u, having my free time with u, making noise with u, and share half my life with u... please don't make the word "PRESIDENT" be the reason why u stay away from me..
i'm really lonely, when i laugh, i'm feels lonely..when i smile i feel's empty.. and when i cry, i feel be abandoned.. when i want to angry, i'm thinking about its effect.. nobody love me when i'm angry.. but this thing is MADNESS!!!! it's freak when i suppose to poker my face when had a situation.. it's also worst when i should smile while i'm not in the mood... because what?? because u a PRESIDENT!! EVERYBODY LOOKED AT YOU!!
i still don't understand why this all happened .. i can't stand anymore.. nobody will listen carefully when i speak about my problem.. my housemate?? they will tell others about my problem when had nothing to say on their mind.. i don't trust them 100% anymore because it happened before.. to SHE?? only share while we were together far away from anyone.. got problem when i'm sharing something to her when our friends are around.. i speak to she sharing my problem but a while her friends call she, she left me while i'm speaking. this situation always happen, not once or twice,. i'try to face the reality with hard heart... that's why i'm can't smile like before and keep my problem without share to anyone.. it's only hurt that i get when share my problems to them.. not a sigh of relief i get as i expected.. it's not calm me down..
everyone, please stop treating me like this... i need u all.. i miss my life back and i know its not gonna happen to me... i'm very sorry if i hurt u all anyways.. i'm so sorry if what i do is not good.. and i swear to almighty ALLAH, if this hurt make my future bright, i'll face it even it hurting my heart and make everyone left me alone..
